Creeping Out

There creeping out and squeakin ther timid, whinin I told ya so’s

Sneakin by in them teeny used jap econo cars, they paid off so long ago

Bein real quiet fixin up they undersized fixed-rate homes all by theyselves

They’re cookin they own meals and stayin thin but seemin really nervous

Not drinkin pricey lattes or drivin out for lunch with they posse every day

Washin they own clothes and even hangin they towels outside on clotheslines

Walkin and ridin bicycles like the sissy girls they want us real men ta act just like

Cutting they emissions and savin on they energy costs, over there behint our backs

Beating our smoking snowmobiles into lamely quiet little green motor scooters

Askin us to tax and legalize them deviated buds theys always smokin

Payin off they credit cards each month without any finance chargis

Not even on their way towards high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes or diabetes

Creeping out after decades of what they call our scary wasteful foolishness

Trying to lead openly now by queer example instead of scuttling off to the side

Still stayin real quiet inside they downsized cribs and not even celebratin

Coming out among us in old clothes to buy parts to fix up they broken, repurposed, used shit

Even taking out their silly recycling mess right during the light of day

Filling up for a fourth of what we are pumping into our good ole giant diesel pickups

Carpoolin all like openly progressive together just to save a little CO2 and money

Not even callin on our ads for them big used Harleys with the payments so long overdue

Tiptoein right on by the exurban mega-church on they way to science classes

Havin fun conservin junk and enjoyin cutting down on what they think we waste

But still throwin lots of money away on organic vegies and grass-fed meats

Plannin on guttin out our great military to leave us open to foreign dEvE8s

Carryin they lame tofu and shit home in them filthy little cotton sacks

Squintin at the labels, checking out the calories, fat and additives and shit

Strappin wack expensive wind and solar junk up on toppa they well-insulated roovetops

Cutting off they lectrick crap at night to save a coupla pennies and some coal smoke

Startin to walk beside the roads even where we drive our SUVs and pickup trucks

Ain’t even bellyin up to the drive-thru line for shakes and fries and double bacon cheeseburgs

Whisperin something about health care starting with self-responsible pervention

Quietly lettin they nice lawns turn brown just to stop waterin and fertilizing and weed killin

Creeping out to the thrift stores stead of savin Chinese Big down ta the Wal*Mart

Tryin to like steal the motivation from the rich by redistributin they hard-earned wealth

Turning down they thermostats and wearin sweaters right in they squirrelly homes

Bitin at our heels on TV and shit then hightailin they green asses back to they tiny dens

I Was A Predatory Capitalist Leader

I was a leader, safely locked inside my walled compound each and every night

A captain of commerce whose value to a firm was not measurable by accountants or the board

My pasty complexion and expensive suit masking a savage predatory capitalist

I was in absolute control of the great corporate ship, from my penthouse suite

Cadres of suckups competed for just the briefest moments of my attention

My time was deemed worth thousands of dollars per hour by my simpering lackeys

I pushed buttons controlling my political puppets from behind expensive closed doors

I lobbied for opening markets, protective tariffs and subsidies – so as to rake in huge bonuses

I played hardball with other swashbuckling executives groomed just like me

I OK’d worthless investment instruments and later said I had never understood them

I assured myself an ironclad golden parachute before even assuming any new position

We avoided any regulation, ruined the markets and then secured whopping, no-strings bailouts

I was borne secretly about in a personal helicopter to my private corporate jet

We assured them the crumbs of our prosperity trickled down thru our drains to them

I was a leader who one only saw accompanied by a trophy wife and a greasy lawyer

We innovated trade in leveraged gambles and stopped investing in actual business

I routinely merged, downsized, outsourced, raised prices, decreased services and got bonuses

I was on the cutting edge of a new global paradigm in corporate entrepreneurship

We called for personal responsibility as we reneged on all their promised benefits

We ignored their old and irrelevant lessons, for we were a new breed for a new age

I had my autobiography written and portrayed myself as folksy, kind and wise

We paid for candidates who granted us huge tax breaks and ended government oversight

I was a leader who read empty prepared statements and then jumped into waiting limos

I welcomed the chance to clear my name but dared not say a word on my own behalf

I cast a blind eye as our unregulated foreign suppliers adulterated our products

With global vision I exported our pollution to where slave labor was encouraged

I had spin doctors call for calm even as we unloaded our own toxic investments onto the taxpayers

When I had my assets secured I testified live about how awful it all made me feel

I was a leader for whom quarterly profit and stock price served as the only true guiding lights

We secured de-regulation, ran amuck until things collapsed, then whined for help

We stepped outside national boundaries, dangling bad jobs for great concessions

We quietly manipulated policy from the background, having bought & paid for the elections

I was paid millions to take total control but disavowed all responsibility in the end

I watched their panic from comfort, safety and security, decreed to be too big to fail

We received bonuses with gov’t bailout money even as we tightened up on our loan standards

I was a great leader whose vision and wisdom surely will be treasured by your children

The Moocher’s Tale

Fancy shades ripped closed to block out our slow and awkward passing

We heard their car doors electrically locking when we drew limpingly too near

Pulling in their children they dropped their eyes and moved away

We felt the wind of their vehicles passing far too closely as we slunk along

Their hands grasped to assure their valuables as they left us in their hurried wake

Lights came on as we shuffled by, we were part of the cold and dark they kept outside

Infants stared blankly back as they were carried quickly away from us

Their elder’s eyes focused at points somewhere below and beside our dirty faces

We walked where they only drove and tasted their palpable distrust as well as their exhaust

They had us removed from public places when we made them feel ill at ease

They laughed and talked louder just to utterly crush our too-silent presence

We tried to act like we did not notice that they pretended not to see us

We walked in their hand-me-downs but we were not their children or their brothers

They swept their dust out upon us as we fumbled through their leftovers

We could not avoid their blank stares even though dark glasses hid their eyes

They brushed themselves with vigor after our chance and accidental contact

They learned to just step over us as we learned to sit sleeping where they walked

They grew impatient with our simple nagging presence every day in their busy lives

We stood in long lines waiting outside their pale in anticipation of rumored handouts

We let go our privacy and re-evaluated our dignity under dingy yellow city lights

We were the bogeyman but our own kids fled the onrushing vans of faceless soccer mommies

They tried to trap us in a net of ordinances but we slipped thru like spineless jellyfish

The papers ran short paragraphs when their misfits beat one of us to death at night

They shook their heads when we froze to death outside the over-filled homeless shelters

We crowded dirtily into the libraries and city parks, much to their disgust

Possessed of neither cell phones nor addresses, no good jobs awaited us

Our children crawled the floors of downsized welfare offices in growing grimy numbers

They covered their faces as we coughed and hacked and spit as they passed nearby

Social workers never approached us without medical gloves and often they wore masks

The garbage men and street sweepers looked down with great disdain upon us

They charged us with vagrancy and public nuisance since we had nowhere else to go

Too many offered us their help, but only on Christmas and Thanksgiving day

We shuffled by honest citizens from understaffed shelters to overcrowded rescue missions

We spent days waiting at the ER trying to drive up their health insurance premiums

We ate day-old bread in cast-off clothes as our kids noses ran and we choked upon despair

We finally realized our lives were better left unseen and our needs best left unspoken