Creeping Out

There creeping out and squeakin ther timid, whinin I told ya so’s

Sneakin by in them teeny used jap econo cars, they paid off so long ago

Bein real quiet fixin up they undersized fixed-rate homes all by theyselves

They’re cookin they own meals and stayin thin but seemin really nervous

Not drinkin pricey lattes or drivin out for lunch with they posse every day

Washin they own clothes and even hangin they towels outside on clotheslines

Walkin and ridin bicycles like the sissy girls they want us real men ta act just like

Cutting they emissions and savin on they energy costs, over there behint our backs

Beating our smoking snowmobiles into lamely quiet little green motor scooters

Askin us to tax and legalize them deviated buds theys always smokin

Payin off they credit cards each month without any finance chargis

Not even on their way towards high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes or diabetes

Creeping out after decades of what they call our scary wasteful foolishness

Trying to lead openly now by queer example instead of scuttling off to the side

Still stayin real quiet inside they downsized cribs and not even celebratin

Coming out among us in old clothes to buy parts to fix up they broken, repurposed, used shit

Even taking out their silly recycling mess right during the light of day

Filling up for a fourth of what we are pumping into our good ole giant diesel pickups

Carpoolin all like openly progressive together just to save a little CO2 and money

Not even callin on our ads for them big used Harleys with the payments so long overdue

Tiptoein right on by the exurban mega-church on they way to science classes

Havin fun conservin junk and enjoyin cutting down on what they think we waste

But still throwin lots of money away on organic vegies and grass-fed meats

Plannin on guttin out our great military to leave us open to foreign dEvE8s

Carryin they lame tofu and shit home in them filthy little cotton sacks

Squintin at the labels, checking out the calories, fat and additives and shit

Strappin wack expensive wind and solar junk up on toppa they well-insulated roovetops

Cutting off they lectrick crap at night to save a coupla pennies and some coal smoke

Startin to walk beside the roads even where we drive our SUVs and pickup trucks

Ain’t even bellyin up to the drive-thru line for shakes and fries and double bacon cheeseburgs

Whisperin something about health care starting with self-responsible pervention

Quietly lettin they nice lawns turn brown just to stop waterin and fertilizing and weed killin

Creeping out to the thrift stores stead of savin Chinese Big down ta the Wal*Mart

Tryin to like steal the motivation from the rich by redistributin they hard-earned wealth

Turning down they thermostats and wearin sweaters right in they squirrelly homes

Bitin at our heels on TV and shit then hightailin they green asses back to they tiny dens

Cut All This Stupid Wasteful Crap

Remove the ever-swelling tumor they winkingly euphemize as dEfense spending

Stop wasting millions of hours watching fat men bending over in tight stretch pants

Quit simply throwing out those 5 billion free plastic shopping bags you used only once

Don’t waste any more good advertising dollars on abrasive talking head spin doctors

Silence the 250 hp outboards and raucous OHVs used for our wanton so-called wreckreation

Curb our immense waste of paper, metal, glass and plastic by charging national deposits

Stop throwing money over there, make their oil unnecessary and leave them to their deserts

Don’t rip up more open land - Make them rebuild their cheap and worn-out strip malls

Quit repeating untold hours mowing, weeding, fertilizing and watering fake lawns

Turn the flood plains into parks and croplands but don’t rebuild homes there again

Stop the countless unnecessary trips riding all alone in obese, low-mileage roadhogs

Curb the waste of multi-generational single-parent families educated only in our prisons

Keep a quarter deposit on each set of fast food wrappers and utensils tossed away

Quit turning unnoticed extra calories from unhealthy food into unattractive, deadly fat

End the total waste of money on that pointless and long ago lost war on drugs

Quit destroying any place we love with your identical slash and burn developments

Stop unaffordable credit spending based solely on guilt implanted by corporate merchant holidays

Cut your gas terrorist subsidy and CO2 footprint along with this foolish worship of overpriced pickups

Insulate, wear a sweater and quit wasting money, fuel and emissions like a simple ignorant child

Put away the 60’ RVs with noisy generators towing 3 ton SUVs and 2 tiny people

End the bitterly divisive waste of time regarded now as the normal legislative process

Stop wasting precious socio-political bandwidth on phony wedge and values issues

Curb the 40% of our emissions that arise from the unnecessary and the inefficient

Cut the hopeless and expensive foolishness of multi-lingual government claptrap

Quit piling debt on the future while wasting the resources they’ll need to pay them back

Cut the thoughtless, random and chaotic noise that shatters the good & protective silence

Overcome the arrogant exceptionist righteousness we had our one true savior grant only to us

Decrease our dependence on shoddy goods built by foreign peasant slave labor

Forget the childish fantasy that easy credit is a safe & longterm source of household income

Disavow their myth of eternal compound growth for that of an economic steady state

Stop subsidizing the wasteful notion that prevention costs more than treatment

Focus and trigger nightlights instead of wasting good energy to simply hide the stars

Quit mining fossil water to grow grain for cows that need antibiotics just to digest them

End wasted bailouts meant to revive Ponzi financing and foolish credit spending

Reduce global population enough so that our frenzied activities do not threaten our very existence

Quit wasting so much energy trying to save a little time – Time that you will never get to spend

Violent Macho Vegan Fantasies

Come on out from watching football and let’s settle this climate change issue right here

There’s a vegan birdwatcher been lifting weights who wants to break some NeoCon face

Gonna enjoy smashing your snow machine on behalf of all the vanished wildlife

Would be happy to fill your car with all that trash from those drive thru windows

Put down your stupid firearms and let’s settle this like the TV men you dream of being

Gonna smack you down for the frogs you 4WD’d over while smirking-drunkenly, smug and secure

Got a squishy liberal hammer fist for sending research and engineering overseas

Here’s a broken tooth for your overspending role in this ridiculous credit debacle

I’m a sissy treehugger, but I’ll gladly bury a palm strike in your fat and outsourced face

How about a bony elbow to your unused head or skinny knee in your fast food gut

I’m calling you out over what you’ve done to this country over the past 40 years

I’m a weak and yellow bicyclist trained hard enough to snap your overburdened joints

I’ll show you tough on fucking defense you wheezing, red-faced, HamAndEggers

Bring it on and we’ll film liberal greenies tattooing your tired-out, freedom-loving asses

Putting you on notice that machoism can survive on organic salads and soy milk

Here’s a hard left hand for the channelized and poisoned rivers you leave behind

Let’s do this in a peaceful meadow that your smoking bulldozers have not found as of yet

I’ll quietly meditate and sip green tea as they carry you off after I finish your beating

You can review your mistakes with your personal savior during the ambulance ride

So, yeah, the Bushido Zen Way is not incompatible with a peace-loving heart

Been practicing chokes and armbars just for you while I was hugging all them trees

This peacenik calls you to go mano a mano over your standalone cowboy foreign policy

While you’re on your back, gonna put quiet mufflers on your moronic pickup

You’re gonna go back to the earth with me to enjoy some good old ground and pound

This proponent of universal healthcare wants to ensure you a safe and free trip to the ER

I’ll enjoy a fruit smoothie after I am de-con’d of all the bloody sweat from your fat body

Gonna Visualize World Peace as I knee your piggish face from a tight Mui Tai clinch

Step down out of those oversize pickups so I can knock the Budweiser right out of you

Wackos are gonna bitch slap you until you whine like your fat, spoiled and stupid wives

Socialist flag-burning recyclers will punish jet ski riders from full mount position

A meditating observer longs to slam a real patriot into the cage just to feel his pain

Gonna pay you back with elbows for letting them ruin our standing with the whole world

Callin you out for a beating on behalf of the lakes whose fish you have tainted

Taking you down hard for stripmining mother ocean and waltzing off with the cash

Here’s a vicious combination for the tortured cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys and sheep

Gonna whup yer ignerant, selfish polluting asses and force feed you nuts, tofu and sprouts

A Snowflake’s Fictional Revenge

I just feel so terrible that these awful thoughts actually came out of me, a peaceful vegan socialist!

Casually ripped out the stakes they had carefully set to guide their yellow bulldozers

Slapped a ‘Supporting Terrorists With Every Tankful’ decal on the fat man’s morbidly obese pickup

Slashed their ATV tires as they were shitting and leaving their trash in the woods close to the road

Dragged corporate leaders from gated mansions and burned them at the stake for their outsourcing

Put some sharp rocks just under the surface where they took off drunk and shouting on their jetskis

Knocked over a faux-badboy’s financed Harley into the path of a vegan hybrid backing out

Replaced the cheese on their burgers with thick and slimy slices of pusy organic tofu

Played really loud country music when she brought clients for a showing in her leased BMW

Rolled up their well-tended lawns and dumped all their slimy home toxics back into their yards

Smashed out her tinted windows so I could clearly see her too-tight, heavily made-up, botoxed face

Ruthlessly forced them to speak clearly, read high-school level books and write complete sentences

Took a big dump on the seat of their powerful excavator and smeared it all over the steering wheel

Sent all their cosmetic surgeons off to Africa to work for Doctors Without Borders for a tiny stipend

Taxed the shit out of the gas they wasted and created energy independence with the money

Blocked all the drive thru take outs with a mountain of cast-off plastic fast food containers

Sterilized them and rescued their fatherless children if they hadn’t passed a minimal parenting class

Piped power plant emissions straight into the homes of the Clean Coal Initiative leaders & legislators

Charged them more by the gallon and the pound for their carelessly wasted water and unsorted trash

Smothered entire families far beneath their way-too-casually discarded plastic bags

Smashed up all the chips and the cookies in the fat women’s grocery cart and dared her to chase me

Made the board meet in their own fields as their dusters spread fertilizer and pesticides upon them

Grounded all their private planes until they had sense enough to get good mufflers put on them

Taxed ranchers on federal lands by letting the bears eat some of their cattle, without reimbursement

Brought our troops home and thanked them for all their brave but vanity-driven sacrifices

Dumped tons of their wasted advertising materials on property they were dishonestly pimping

Herded the lobbyists thru the streets as the poor children laughed and stoned them as schoolwork

Put up solar panels on every roof of the country right next to new wind turbines just to piss them off

Piped the exhaust from his remote-start, idling to warm up, pickup straight into his silly man cave

Sent the finance people to Somalia to innovate while living in mud huts and building new schools

Sentenced the investment bankers to chain gangs in the rural South without any possibility of parole

Shot out their nightlights whenever and wherever to set the stars free to shine once again

Punched the car salesman in the moth and bought what I wanted without paying any commission

Filled their clean and empty giant pickup beds with the oily runoff from their own driveways

Taxed the churches heavily, just like any other grasping, lying, fictional corporate pyramid scheme

Forced them to pay off their credit cards before they could finance another new big screen

Fined the politicians every single time they so lamely intoned ‘God Bless America’ in their speeches

The Most Unthinkable Ultimate Weapon

Some crackpot wacko researcher has gone and done the unthinkable deed at last

And now it’s up to us to make sure this thing doesn’t fall into terrorist hands

Turns out it’s really quite simple to make and way too easy to secretly transport

We got to retain tight control of this invention or our precious liberty is surely at risk

The mad scientists have gone and let an evil genie out of the bottle once again

Proliferation cannot be an option for the freedom loving peoples of the world

If our enemies get hold of this, it will threaten our traditional family values

We alone must retain control of this awful power - for the benefit of all mankind

Our strategic analysts warn of its terrible consequences for our military establishment

It’s just the kind of thing that the one-worlders have been wanting for use against us

This weapon could upset our carefully crafted, fear-based global power balance

It will put the people of our sacred fatherland at the mercy of the godless heathen

There’s no denying its potential to do good if we were to use it in the proper manner

But, in the hands of radicals, it would represent a clear and present danger

Its proliferation would pose the gravest threat of any doomsday scenario yet

Mr. President, we must act at once to halt the spread of this terrible innovation

Already, there is intelligence that our enemies seek it on the world’s black markets

We have detected some French testing out on one of their remote Pacific atolls

Unconfirmed reports say an outlaw state is trying to acquire its raw materials in Africa

Some kind of loony religious cult wants to loose it on the entire world in aerosol form

We got to keep a closer eye on our so-called allies in the light of this new threat

We are ramping up our domestic intelligence gathering a bit more in secret, just in case

They say it might even be introduced covertly into our food and water supply

What we need is another world treaty which we can ignore but force others to obey

Already, reckless young people are experimenting upon each other with this stuff

The generals and politicians are demanding that the policy wonks craft a solution

This thing could spiral way beyond our control and end all our cozy partnerships

We must quickly ramp up coordinated media, military and diplomatic campaigns

Congress must quietly funnel millions for secret research and covert operations

Believe it or not they’ve found a vaccination for that sacred pox known as war

That Threatenen' Wacko Agenda

Pushing to tax the word of Christ like it was some kinda giant pyramid scheme

Promoting an end to burnin honest Clean Coal for a life in the cold and fearful dark

Putting trees, birds, fish and like clean air up front of families, jobs and christian values

Want us all eating that slimy soft tofu instead of good old supersize cheese fries

They’ll give your kids hands-on sex education, even before they learn to read

Said real hot water washing and nice clothes dryers are horribly evil polluters

Trying to make us turn down our thermostats and pull on some old itchy sweaters

Sponsoring some crazy bill to regulate barbecue and even lawnmower emissions

Lobbying to put the rights of cows and pigs above the price needs of decent consumers

Opposed to credit card bailouts meant to bring relief to us honest working families

Wantin us all eatin shriveled up organic muffins instead of hearty krispykremes

Would have us all smoking that dope sos we forget all about their elitist policies

Don’t like your nice green lawn and aim to close up all the golf courses

They’d like to force you to pick through dirty trash for junk they say needs recycled

Stoppin outside developers from bringing us in them good new construction jobs

Wantin to limit the size of your house and how much electricity you can use

Tryin to shove abortion, gay marriage and school prayer into the background

Foistin their tired, failed socialist universal healthcare schemes on us once again

Pushin fool laws to take away our sacred right to bear arms

Gonna even tax you for those few extry pounds that make you look real husky

Makin you quiet down your pickups and Harleys sos they can hear the stupid birds

Bannin your blazin security nightlights cause they want to save energy and see whatever stars

Forcin real sacrifice on families just to set an example in their fool greenhouse gas scam

Corrupting our children’s morals with their godless fuzzy science and junk maths

Want you to pass a test and get a license to have kids even though our God says to be fruitful

Plan on gutting our military and leaving us open to all kind of evil foreign terror

These wackos target our traditional lifestyle with that job-killing, costly hoax of climate change

Why they even want you to carry groceries on a bicycle like some frickin peasant

Out to make Big Gulps more expensive and ban double meat bacon cheeseburgers

Sayin Cheetos are unhealthy and Mountain Dew’s got too much sugar and caffeine

Don’t even want you throwing out fast food cups and bags and all that other messy shit

They’re wantin to tighten up on credit is threatenin our hallowed consumer lifestyle

Don’t even recognize the sanctity of the NFL or the importance of NASCAR to our way of life

Wanting to steal our relaxation and comfort and turn us all into pencilneck vegans

Their nutcake ideas are costing us real money, jobs and convenience every day

That wacko agenda is eroding our traditional family way of life, even as we pray

Marginalize Their Greedy Squeals

Cast out the amoral animals who for so long have set the agenda that led us into this mess

Throw out the fools who invented these various greedy, non-renewable ponzi pyramids

Go back to the best of the past and meld it to the New Green

Kick out those so-called free market, bulldoze-and-run, copy-and-paste developers

Because now they’ve had their 50 years of gluttonous and uncurbed, wanton destruction

Bring back respect and love for simply sustaining the earth and its treasures

Give up the worship of blind greed that has stolen so much without even paying interest

Root out the lie that it all must come down to the money, every single goddamn time

Wake up the financial innovators still caught in their wrung-out, unregulated NeoCon MLM schemes

Finally, even give peace a try, now that they have had their violent way for far too long

Bring back the dreams they so long have scornfully rejected without even a fair hearing

Their time is over now, so take a look around and simply review their accomplishments

Brush aside those who for too many years have labeled you as simple and foolish idealists

For they’ve starred too long in this show that has resulted in a dirty and unsustainable mess

Don’t bother to fight them, let’s just everybody move out quietly and head the other way

Forget their smash and grab, waste for today, foolishly noisy, selfish rationalizations

Get back in tune with the ancient song of the earth they still find so goddamn silly

Leave them to their phony memoirs but never forget their very real and very destructive lessons

Get them out of the way now, but not out of our history books

Quietly ignore their constant self-abusive hurry, anger, stress, noise and worry

Even bring back a bit from the sixties and we shall try to overcome, once again

Don’t struggle against them but don’t bother listening to them anymore, either

Ease them from power, leave them stewing inside their expensive locked and gated compounds

Clean up their messes, get on the right path and simply don’t let them do it again

Turn off their reasonless noisemakers and recycle their foolish gas-powered toys

Now we’ve seen their results and it’s time to straighten up and get started on our own

Go about your good business and leave them to strangle alone in phony suits and ties

Marginalize them with an overwhelming kindness and a smilingly-smothering concern

Herd them safely together like 1^st graders, in their own simple but noisy confusion

They had their best shot but now have walked away, tasking us with rescuing the future

Let a billion small voices overcome their scripted and poisonous corporate sound bites

Allow the sounds of nature to replace their random and self-centered advert nattering

Save more for those to come instead of stripping and wasting all we can now for ourselves

Smile politely as you pass by their lawn chairs, moving away in a different direction

Clean up their glossy spin along with all the careless litter they left on the ground

Forget their phony free market healthcare, education, environment and poverty solutions

Turn their toxic legacy into a great lesson that we shall never forget and never have to repeat

Junk their worn-out fantasy religious rationalizations and venal social darwinism

Free eroded corpro-conglomerated farm land from pesticides, fossil water and petro-fertilizers

Release our domestic animals from the ongoing holocaust their ignoble corporate masters perfected

Re-measure progress by the sustainable wild salmon harvest not by how many bloated SUVs they sold

Turn away from cynically smirking leaders reading with false twangs the speeches that others wrote

Suffocate them gently with soft pillows stuffed full of fluffy peace and love

Demonstrate that you understand them and then force them to listen to you for a change

Leave them squawking in meaningless, impotent rage - and then go post the video

Tax the living shit out of them in the name of those they have outsourced and displaced

Turn quietly aside and relegate them to a small but shrilly-whining margin

Don’t forget all their lessons and don’t let them back in power, ever again

Keep them aware of their results 24x7, wherever they choose to travel

Redistribute their pirated assets for schools, clinics, infrastructure and reclamation projects

Put them to work on chicken farms, in feedlots and bent painfully over in the onion fields

Convert some of their crumbling so-called trophy homes into museums of unvarnished greed

Preserve and combine names, dates and deeds into a twisted but cohesive history

Answer their last bailout pleas with empathetic offers of work at cleaning urban ERs

Busy their marketing and advertising geniuses promoting peaceful cooperation

Thoroughly safety test their adulterated, imported products on them, their families and their pets

Pester them with swindled widows, forgotten children, the uninsured and outsourced workers

Study their bios that their likes are prevented from ever again rising to power

Find ways to treat their greedy, monomaniacal, need to ignorant power with mercy

Set them savagely against each other in inconsequential and harmless competitions

Marginalize their greedy squeals for they led us to waste too much, for far too long

Step Up And Respin Ourselves

ditch the profitable fiction that war is simply a matter of our own unchangeable genetics

quit going forth and multiplying dumbly and decrease our numbers to a sustainable level

put aside our mindless, noisy, smoking toys and simply ponder the wind in the trees for a moment

forsake shortsighted smash and grab profit for a 1000 year economy and a thoughtful culture

dump the devastating myth that only we were born with a soul in the image of our fantasy gods

remeasure our success by what remains for our those who perchance might follow us

respin our myths and make it our responsibility to pass on an intact web of life

realize that there are neither jobs nor money without an ecosystem to support them

abolish the sinful suffering we criminally inflict upon our domesticated brothers…

understand well their sacrifices and at least consume them with some recognition

integrate our brilliant but incomplete economic system into the natural world that supports it

abandon outdated notions that clean air and water are merely so-called free goods

quit ignoring our toxic byproducts, dead bycatch and long-lasting side effects

stop believing that a giant shoddily-built house is the ultimate in status and luxury

stay under the radar instead of trying to buy people’s attention on 28% interest credit cards

pay a deposit on that packaging and make manufacturers take back wornout goods

for god’s sake, save fossil fuels and subsidize solar, wind and thorium reactors

get our dumbass noses out of the middle east by getting off of their petroleum

stop wasting more than all the other nations combined on our so-called dEfense

don’t bother building 500 horsepower hydrogen vehicles that fall apart in 3 years

let’s not make things clean and efficient merely to support another 3 billion in poverty

forget about interstellar travel until we right this little space capsule called earth

tax the fossil fuel emission costs they have so successfully and so improperly externalized

stop rewarding uncontrollable greed, blind ambition and absolute egocentrism

end huge bonuses for exporting jobs and pollution to slave-based economies

just quit letting it all come down to money in the end - every single goddamn time

reverse bad decisions even if they were made in private talks with one’s personal savior

just set the example for a greener world instead of whining about what others should do

tax the fat and the lazy just like the smokers, the drinkers and the gamblers

understand: you ain’t bustin out of this pigsty and flyin off to some half-baked heaven

realize that they’ll never compete to provide healthcare for the poor or the sick

just accept that there really aint a market-based solution to every single problem

treat keeping quiet as a virtue instead of generating noise with everything we do

tax all of the franchised religions at corporate rates to fund forgotten social programs

kick back at the credit moneychangers and stone the payday usurers into a docile submission

stop believing in fairytale eternal compound growth and embrace a sustainable steady state future