You’ll be laid off when you’re about 50 and your services
won’t ever be needed again
On the other hand they’ve pushed back your full retirement
age until at least the age of 70
We’ve developed nearly magical cures for all the illnesses
that will soon plague you
Unfortunately, they’ll be far beyond all your government
benefits and meager savings put together
You’re grounded by the wondrous set of private dialogs
you’ve shared with your personal savior
But you pack with 3000 other prairie dogs in a Wal*Mart
style mega-church to worship him
She walks dogs at the Humane Society and donates to groups
with cute puppy calendars
You’ll find her serving guests tender veal that can never
even stand up inside their tiny pens
Under great duress they righteously accorded several species
their so-called protection
Meanwhile, the seas were strip-mined of all life and filled
with microscopic plastic
I reflect upon my efforts at recycling with a certain
greenish sense of satisfaction
My used paper heads off to China to be used to package all
the imports we don’t make here anymore
We provided temporary jobs for honest loggers harvesting the
last of those valuable big trees
But now there’s no more logs to ship and tourists don’t
visit to gawk at trees and spend their money
You borrowed millions and started carving a remote area into
a toney second home resort
Your little friends pulled the plug on your leveraged
scheme, so you just walked away
I am searching for the miraculous and straining with every
fiber for cosmic understanding
I’ve got juicy soft porn sites bookmarked that I visit with
a monk-like regularity
They demanded our personal responsibility regarding health
care as well as pensions
On the other hand they were bailed out by crooked cronies
with no strings attached at all
We could step in and lower your interest rate and we could
even guarantee your loan
But with your no-down and equity re-financing you’re still
way too far underwater for you to bother
Things are looking so much better for us now than earlier in
this bloody financial quagmire
Yet, no one will ever be held responsible for the crimes and
sins that got us there to start with
You rage against the fact that you only earn 80% of your
male colleagues takings
But they’re working 10% overtime & holding the door as
you leave early again, for your lame kids
At last you’re free to enjoy all the wondrous things that
you’ve always dreamed of
Your eyes are bad, your back is sore, your wind is gone and
you never hatched a nestegg
Smart consumers have at last stopped credit spending and
some have even begun to try and save
Alas, such wise household spending attitudes cause stocks to
fall and even more jobs to disappear
Honest citizens have been freed from oppressively high fuel
prices once again
Just in time to fuel another surge in purchases of
gas-guzzling SUVs & obese, road-hogging pickups
The car dealers, real estate agents, cruise lines, and hip
restauranteurs were mired in recession
And they say consumer spending always solves our economic crises
and certainly never causes them
The vacuous, self-serving geniuses of Wall Street are
getting flak over giant bonuses again this year
On
the other hand they’re not going to jail cause they’ve convinced us we still
can’t do without them
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