Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Gettin ‘Merica Great Again

Gotta bring back cheap and really smoky diesel fuel for our honest, thrifty working men
Then they’ll be tradin up again to even further upside-down leases on even bigger pickups
Get em back to belchin smoke from good loud mufflers with that same patriotic pride
Stead of sneakin around like tree huggers with eggs beneath their gas pedals

We’ll refinance their houses for them and flush away those negative savings
Gonna give traditional families a place to draw out more unearned cash from china
All them re-financing deals should kick start our most innovative credit finance industry
And the realtors can start runnin up house prices for fat commissions once again

We’ll ditch this cockamamie greenhouse crap to protect our fragile economic recovery
No more bullshit about saving the planet because, look, people’s jobs are on the line here
Forget this sustainablility scam if it involves even the slightest expense or inconvenience
Get the asians ta slap them peasants in line cause we need more cheap imported junk

We’ll get these whatever Ārabs straightened out even if it takes a coupla lifetimes
A few hundred billion dollars each and every year ought to do the trick - Someday
Pretty soon a few of those like free elections will bring them heathens all like McDonalds and stuff
Our boys aren’t dyin in vain even if it has just been all wrong from start to finish

Bringing back the days when we just shoved it all into the trash and straight out the door
No more stupid packin and sorting through the garbage for them numbnut greenies
If they want it, they can pay me for it and come here and dive thru our dumpster to get it
Cause once it’s paid for, it’s mine to simply toss away and get on with traditional family life

Nowadays they aint no need to spend money on clean water since we all drink ours outta bottles
The kids can just go down to the pool if they want to go swimming in the summer
I never have time to go fishin anymore and the wife likes it better down to Red Lobster
Anyway, we can still get out on the boats and jetskis as long as we don’t get wet

Them good new jobs atomorra created after we all got outsourced are comin in real soon now, too
We’ll all be contributin to the consumer economy in our new service sector positions
Everybody’ll have good health benefits and a free retirement fund to draw from - Early
Yup, we’ll all be working on computer doin some kinda hi-tech financial services and shit

Coal is gonna give us a smoky, grimy-devastated, but energy-independent homeland
Honest patriot lobbyists will sacrifice sos we can crank up the uninsulated heat all winter long
We can point to the slag heaps and the dirty air and really be able to see our progress
Settin a lonely brave example for the developin world against that vast socialist CO2 conspiracy

We’ll cut taxes but hike defense spending and keep ignoring the whatever deterioratin infrastructure
Strappin on them fiscal cables for another jumpstart and bendin over for the next kickstart
Cause we really cant solve any other problems if the blessed economy has gone south
We’re gonna get back on track real soon now using creative, god-fearing entrepreneurism

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