Pretty much got my punishment of having to start a little
retirement savings figured out
Wasting the absolute minimum amount of time doing some lame
health club exercising
Probably already cut back on donuts, fries, sodas and double
bacon cheese stuff enough for now
Don’t think I’m drinking much compared to my old self or to
others that I still know
Figure that our family’s finally driving safely what with
the belts and all those air bags
Finally got the kids on the right meds after all the
problems at their awful schools
Not even considering rolling our maxed credit cards over
into the house for the 4th time
But seriously close to walking away from that totally unfair
and underwater mortgage contract
No lead in our paint, asbestos in our walls, oil in our
driveway or RoundUp on our lawn
Got smoke detectors that might work and a fire extinguisher
stuck somewhere back there
Mom’s nursing home looks pretty nice and we always go visit
her at least once a month
Regained my control thanks to political correctness, anger
management and layoff fears
Keeping up with important current events courtesy of
corporate-sponsored talking heads
Paying enough indulgences at the mega-church to ensure our
whole family’s place in heaven
Think I’m really done using credit cards to buy stuff I
really don’t need and for sure can’t afford
We’ll just keep our old SUV another couple of years even
though the lease is a loser
Decided we can actually get by OK without going out to eat
those 3 nights every week
Doing the things that mass-circulation magazines tell us
smart money families need to do
Put a little recycling stuff out pretty much every week next
to our large dumpster full of trash
Rebalancing our portfolio by buying stock since they keep
saying it’s the best long-term investment
Carefully ingratiating myself to the bosses to try and avoid
the next upcoming downsizing
Invested in some tools and gonna start that do-it-yourself
thing real soon now
Bought a couple hi-tech light bulbs they say are greener and
cheaper in the long run
Sitting down with the kids and their school work whenever I
get home in time
Foiling my bad boy attitude with a rose a little bit now
that my boss is a working mommie
Even spent some of my own lunch hour time last week reading
a work-related article
Guess we wont be taking the family down to DisneyWorld at
$500 per day this year
Turning up the intensity and duration of my prayers during
this time of trouble
Got a fair amount of righteous indignation going over that
whole meltdown bailout mess
Not forgetting that we simply must keep on investing even
more in our National Defense
Even thinking of maybe a smaller house once this real estate
panic settles down
Got my priorities on straight regarding the economy and this
wacko environmental brouhaha
Unsubscribed most of the premium channels and cut off a few
pay-per-view events
Let the finance company go ahead and take back the ATVs, jet
skis and the snowmobiles
Looking real closely at this $200 a month cellphone bill and
asking the tough questions
Yup,
figure we pretty much got life under control by all the conventional media
wisdom
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