Programmers are bending themselves into grocery clerks going
forward
So-called financial engineers should be snatching at secure
jobs driving school buses
Web designers are strutting in their natty fast food
uniforms
Physics graduates optimize sweeping patterns in their work
as custodians
Shy mathematicians are re-inventing themselves as stockers
down to Wal*Mart
Unneeded chemists are scheming to open up their own new brew
pubs
Moping, unemployed newspaper writers futilely send their signal
into the blogospheric void
Graying, downsized middle managers pass out identical
resumes on every corner
Washed up autoworkers line up for full-time positions
driving garbage trucks
Former roofers and framers look to re-invent themselves
installing solar panels
Downcast Teamster container ship unloaders will become
produce clerks, someday
With straight faces, liberal arts grads try to get hired on
to redneck road-building crews
Quality assurance experts audit their own work cleaning
toilets in convenience stores
Unemployed statisticians calculate their odds for success at
professional blackjack
Burnt out, washed up teachers with no alternate careers shut
down, but stay on
All those 45 and older are quickly cast aside and wordlessly
encouraged just to die
Financial planners are now without the income streams needed
to smother their own debt
Database administrators finally try to use their hands while
studying to be paramedics
Laid off PR goddesses become consultants to other useless
baggage trying to reinvent itself
Overextended real estate profiteers look for big scores in
pyramid fat-burning scams
Unread resumes clog vast networks of pathetically over-eager
former executives
Hapless retail attempts by entrepreneurial laid-off
accountants die in record time
Ex-project leaders learn to live with being laughed at by
fellow Home Depot stockers
Run down car salesmen start peddling reverse equity home
scams to seniors
Cast off nannies make the long trek back to Guatemala
without a dime of severance pay
Mestizo vaqueros in dusty baseball caps find no more labor
and shuffle back towards home
Merged and downsized bankers cynically scheme to make it as
credit counselors
Environmental activists try to get on with coal companies as
public spokesmen
Moving firms reinvent themselves emptying abandoned,
foreclosed McMansions
300 pencil-necked ex-loan originators apply for a single
firefighting position
100000 returning war vets are laid off just as soon as
permitted by federal law
Cute former cosmetic sales girls learn to turn a few tricks
for rent and food
Stock brokers feverishly search the internet for another
golden egg of greed
Soccer moms are forced to morph into gas clerks in oversized
checkered shirts
Off-shored Customer Support personnel enjoy painting houses
and mowing lawns
But,
at last, those bottom-feeding military and priesthood recruiters gin up a few
new bodies
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