I just feel so terrible that these awful thoughts actually came out of me,
a peaceful vegan socialist!
Casually ripped out the stakes they had carefully set to
guide their yellow bulldozers
Slapped a ‘Supporting Terrorists With Every Tankful’ decal
on the fat man’s morbidly obese pickup
Slashed their ATV tires as they were shitting and leaving
their trash in the woods close to the road
Dragged corporate leaders from gated mansions and burned
them at the stake for their outsourcing
Put some sharp rocks just under the surface where they took
off drunk and shouting on their jetskis
Knocked over a faux-badboy’s financed Harley into the path
of a vegan hybrid backing out
Replaced the cheese on their burgers with thick and slimy
slices of pusy organic tofu
Played really loud country music when she brought clients
for a showing in her leased BMW
Rolled up their well-tended lawns and dumped all their slimy
home toxics back into their yards
Smashed out her tinted windows so I could clearly see her too-tight,
heavily made-up, botoxed face
Ruthlessly forced them to speak clearly, read high-school
level books and write complete sentences
Took a big dump on the seat of their powerful excavator and
smeared it all over the steering wheel
Sent all their cosmetic surgeons off to Africa to work for
Doctors Without Borders for a tiny stipend
Taxed the shit out of the gas they wasted and created energy
independence with the money
Blocked all the drive thru take outs with a mountain of
cast-off plastic fast food containers
Sterilized them and rescued their fatherless children if
they hadn’t passed a minimal parenting class
Piped power plant emissions straight into the homes of the
Clean Coal Initiative leaders & legislators
Charged them more by the gallon and the pound for their
carelessly wasted water and unsorted trash
Smothered entire families far beneath their way-too-casually
discarded plastic bags
Smashed up all the chips and the cookies in the fat women’s
grocery cart and dared her to chase me
Made the board meet in their own fields as their dusters
spread fertilizer and pesticides upon them
Grounded all their private planes until they had sense
enough to get good mufflers put on them
Taxed ranchers on federal lands by letting the bears eat
some of their cattle, without reimbursement
Brought our troops home and thanked them for all their brave
but vanity-driven sacrifices
Dumped tons of their wasted advertising materials on
property they were dishonestly pimping
Herded the lobbyists thru the streets as the poor children
laughed and stoned them as schoolwork
Put up solar panels on every roof of the country right next
to new wind turbines just to piss them off
Piped the exhaust from his remote-start, idling to warm up,
pickup straight into his silly man cave
Sent the finance people to Somalia to innovate while
living in mud huts and building new schools
Sentenced the investment bankers to chain gangs in the rural
South without any possibility of parole
Shot out their nightlights whenever and wherever to set the
stars free to shine once again
Punched the car salesman in the moth and bought what I
wanted without paying any commission
Filled their clean and empty giant pickup beds with the oily
runoff from their own driveways
Taxed the churches heavily, just like any other grasping,
lying, fictional corporate pyramid scheme
Forced them to pay off their credit cards before they could
finance another new big screen
Fined the politicians every single time they so lamely
intoned ‘God Bless America’ in their speeches
No comments:
Post a Comment