Cut All This Stupid Wasteful Crap

Remove the ever-swelling tumor they winkingly euphemize as dEfense spending

Stop wasting millions of hours watching fat men bending over in tight stretch pants

Quit simply throwing out those 5 billion free plastic shopping bags you used only once

Don’t waste any more good advertising dollars on abrasive talking head spin doctors

Silence the 250 hp outboards and raucous OHVs used for our wanton so-called wreckreation

Curb our immense waste of paper, metal, glass and plastic by charging national deposits

Stop throwing money over there, make their oil unnecessary and leave them to their deserts

Don’t rip up more open land - Make them rebuild their cheap and worn-out strip malls

Quit repeating untold hours mowing, weeding, fertilizing and watering fake lawns

Turn the flood plains into parks and croplands but don’t rebuild homes there again

Stop the countless unnecessary trips riding all alone in obese, low-mileage roadhogs

Curb the waste of multi-generational single-parent families educated only in our prisons

Keep a quarter deposit on each set of fast food wrappers and utensils tossed away

Quit turning unnoticed extra calories from unhealthy food into unattractive, deadly fat

End the total waste of money on that pointless and long ago lost war on drugs

Quit destroying any place we love with your identical slash and burn developments

Stop unaffordable credit spending based solely on guilt implanted by corporate merchant holidays

Cut your gas terrorist subsidy and CO2 footprint along with this foolish worship of overpriced pickups

Insulate, wear a sweater and quit wasting money, fuel and emissions like a simple ignorant child

Put away the 60’ RVs with noisy generators towing 3 ton SUVs and 2 tiny people

End the bitterly divisive waste of time regarded now as the normal legislative process

Stop wasting precious socio-political bandwidth on phony wedge and values issues

Curb the 40% of our emissions that arise from the unnecessary and the inefficient

Cut the hopeless and expensive foolishness of multi-lingual government claptrap

Quit piling debt on the future while wasting the resources they’ll need to pay them back

Cut the thoughtless, random and chaotic noise that shatters the good & protective silence

Overcome the arrogant exceptionist righteousness we had our one true savior grant only to us

Decrease our dependence on shoddy goods built by foreign peasant slave labor

Forget the childish fantasy that easy credit is a safe & longterm source of household income

Disavow their myth of eternal compound growth for that of an economic steady state

Stop subsidizing the wasteful notion that prevention costs more than treatment

Focus and trigger nightlights instead of wasting good energy to simply hide the stars

Quit mining fossil water to grow grain for cows that need antibiotics just to digest them

End wasted bailouts meant to revive Ponzi financing and foolish credit spending

Reduce global population enough so that our frenzied activities do not threaten our very existence

Quit wasting so much energy trying to save a little time – Time that you will never get to spend

Unlearned Lessons From That Great Recession

Don’t bring back no-income, no-job, no-asset, no money down home loans

Ban that so-called ‘financial engineering’ as a legalized but criminal profession

Never again make just the monthly minimum payment on multiple credit cards

Ensure that the oversized, noisy pickup truck totally disappears as a commuter vehicle

Don’t ever let the phony 7% real estate professional make any type of comeback

Stop buying those $150 shoes for kids who simply refuse to learn to read and write

No more of shrieking media heads pimping you tips to unknown stocks on margin

Forget that tens of smog-belching 3 ton roadhogs ever idled daily in drive-thru lines

Keep the crooked loan originators and greedy property appraisers unemployed

Don’t resume spending on diet aids that tell you it’s OK to eat anything you want

Push back hard when car salesmen try to reclaim their useless and parasitic positions

Let negative savings rates remain only as object lessons of our own stupidity

Don’t bring back giant, overpriced, shoddily-built McMansions leveraged by poseurs on margin

Never again spend $100 a month on fat-filled, sugary lattes, tossing away the cups

Really, let’s not pickup where we left off buying jet skis, OHVs and snowmobiles

Never pay loudly-ignorant, semi-skilled, so-called tradesmen to hold us hostage again

Make sure speculation on second home developments blocking access to open spaces remains dead

Forever keep buried the cynical and greedy lie that self-regulation is key to industry salvation

Waterboard the NeoCons on their own poisonous soundbites until they confess to anything

Don’t ever bring back the idea that your home is some investment instrument and an ATM

Don’t even consider more no-strings-attached cash bailouts to thieving financiers

Don’t return the nannies, chauffeurs, pedicurists and decorators to the faux-rich

Be sure smirking, callow Wall Street 20Somethings get no more million dollar bonuses

Never again roll credit card debt into an underemployed illiterate’s house note

Remain standing menacingly over the myth that loud and willful exceptionism equals patriotism

Don’t let the corn-based biofuel scam be resurrected by its well-heeled lobbyists

Never, never blindly trust the bankers, brokers, lawyers or financial advisers ever again

Kick down the self-serving lie that stocks yield the most over the so-called long haul

Archive house flipping how-to shows as evidence of the madness that possessed us all

Never again rush to overbid on unseen property before it even hits the market

Don’t roll old car leases into new ones even further underwater from the very start

Keep the hard-driving, career-oriented, equally-paid loving mothers needing time off, in their homes

Smother the absurd notion that vapid hyper-consumption is somehow really patriotic

Be sure that administrative assistants never again finance multiple rental properties

Don’t bring back those falsely-folksy, Ivy League politicians who favor the rich at your expense

Never again believe consumer spending and financial services could underpin a sustainable economy

The Baby Boomer Legacy

Prodigiously wasted precious, non-renewable energy without the slightest consideration

Cloned endless farmland, coastline and forest into identical suburbs and cheap strip malls

Sent engineering jobs to Japan, production to China and customer support to India

Passed laws to protect the environment but cut backroom deals so as not to fund them

Unquestioningly threw away more money on defense than all other developed countries combined

Sent mom and dad off to the mercy of low-wage, franchised, contract, foreign attendants

Never saved a nickel but demanded free health insurance and a fat retirement pension

Expected safe food even as I flooded my own lawn with pesticides and fertilizers

Smirkingly spun and marginalized as wackos those who dared to question our agenda

Stepped safely away from the mortgage on that thrice Re-Fied, shoddily-built McMansion

Shook my head in disbelief at the environmental mess the Chinese made producing our cheap goods

Gave my kids every opportunity to become obese and diabetic - Even younger than I did

Sustained multi-generational poverty by simply managing to always look the other way

Unconsciously belched out tons of climate-warming CO2 on countless, very pointless little trips

Turned sleepy backwaters into artificially-overpriced, family adventure resort communities

Left my inflated healthcare bills in the laps of my spoiled and ignorant children

Burnt up all the easy-to-grab fossil fuels and left the roads and bridges in ruins

Stayed utterly silent and permitted human population to increase to the crashing point

Institutionalized snowmobiles, jetskis, ATVs and 50’ RVs as valid forms of wreckreation

Deftly ignored the holocaust from which our meat emerged, so safe and very shrink-wrapped

Stored billions of tons of recyclables under toxic landfill goo - to be mined by those yet to come

Wasted irreplaceable fossil aquifer water growing indigestible grain to tenderize our meat

Disinterestedly stood by as big energy devastated anywhere it pleased, in the name of cheap energy

Convinced our clueless kids that they were special and that they would surely rule the world

Brought god into the government but vowed to keep its nose out of our commerce

Replaced climax old-growth forests with a corporately-managed, monoculture investments

Re-introduced the wolf but extinguished the songbirds, reptiles, fish and amphibians

Flushed a giant dead zone down the chanellized Mississippi into our once-fruitful Gulf

Sacrificed my ideals to media hypnosis after each long day of pointless toil, under nitwits

Schemed to preserve the beings we wiped out in the wild in sterile zoos and laboratories

Replaced home cooking with fast-food, take out and frozen microwave dinners

Drove up the price of each toney new seafood item until it was harvested into extinction

Used credit cards as an income source and then squalled loudly for relief from the unfairness

Alienated the entire world and caused the teeming global poor to attack us everywhere

Always stopped to smell the roses and lived for today and wished our kids good luck

Rode on, convinced that my insular, fundamentalist, creationist faith would protect me, forevermore

Impotently Green

Waste good water washing out tin cans as you watch us proudly throw theirs away

Buy that cute little hybrid which you could pull up inside our 9 passenger behemoths

Carry out your groceries in eco-evil cotton bags as 5 billion new plastic ones are tossed away

Pay extra for wind power as the Chinese open 2 dirty-tech coal-fired plants every week

Combine your trips to save gas and pass by the obese idling blankly in fast food drive-thru lines

Call for climate change action as neighbors fight it by simply adjusting their thermostats

Reduce your eco-footprints even as hordes of new middle class Asians join in over-consumption

Walk quietly in the woods listening as drunk, gas-powered wreckreationists roar by shouting

Screw in funny bulbs as their unblinking, high-watt nightlights obscure the entire night sky

Invest in a solar panel quickly blocked out by our new 5000 square ft McMansion

Cook meals from scratch at home as millions of us find it cheaper to graze at McDonalds

Pay more for grass-raised, antibiotic & feedlot-free meat that should cost less to produce

Forgo children while the impoverished uneducated drop more than their share upon you

Try helping to do more with less funding while our arms producers secure no-bid, cost-plus handouts

Pick up a bit of road litter as entire ocean basins fill with tons of our plastic trash

Fret over packaging as Chinese factories pay bribes to dump toxins into rivers every night

Worry over a sustainable future while our financial wizards achieve total market meltdown

Xeriscape your lawn to a scraggly brown even as 3^rd world squatters turn vast tracts into desert

Save precious water as we waste billions of gallons from non-renewable fossil aquifers for free

Contribute to environmental watchdog groups as conglomerates efficiently strip-mine the seas

Watch as your careful recycling gets dumped or shipped back to Asia just to wrap more imports

Whine pointlessly for solar power as Big Coal revs up subsidized mountain top strip mining

Contribute to wildlife societies as 3 billion others suffer an abject, subhuman poverty

Listen to us pit the earth against family values to avoid so-called intrusive over-regulation

Demand sustainable economics even as we bail out the very financiers who ruined you

Just try asking us to consider the next thousand years when we only plan for the next quarter

Hear the under-employed snicker over climate worries in the wake of the Great Recession

Watch us laugh in incredulity at your proposals to CO2 tax gas up to $4 a gallon

Go about in heavy sweaters as we romp in shorts in their uninsulated trophy homes

Eat wilted veggies and healthy oils as we swill down and throw away factory fast food

Forgo new clothes for thrift stores which then have no donations to send overseas

Give so that stray dogs may live yet ignore the saved from abortion but unwanted, bastard children

Give that stray dogs may live as we ignore the unwanted, bastard children we saved from abortion

Take to heart our scornful braying against expensive mandated environmental restoration

Make those 20 steps to greener living that we undo daily before even getting to work

Carefully check the ingredients but remain unaware of their adulterated Asian sources

Take the long view of a spaceship earth in a dying world ADD’d on our get-rich-quick delusions

Hey, We Got This, Right?

Pretty much got my punishment of having to start a little retirement savings figured out

Wasting the absolute minimum amount of time doing some lame health club exercising

Probably already cut back on donuts, fries, sodas and double bacon cheese stuff enough for now

Don’t think I’m drinking much compared to my old self or to others that I still know

Figure that our family’s finally driving safely what with the belts and all those air bags

Finally got the kids on the right meds after all the problems at their awful schools

Not even considering rolling our maxed credit cards over into the house for the 4th time

But seriously close to walking away from that totally unfair and underwater mortgage contract

No lead in our paint, asbestos in our walls, oil in our driveway or RoundUp on our lawn

Got smoke detectors that might work and a fire extinguisher stuck somewhere back there

Mom’s nursing home looks pretty nice and we always go visit her at least once a month

Regained my control thanks to political correctness, anger management and layoff fears

Keeping up with important current events courtesy of corporate-sponsored talking heads

Paying enough indulgences at the mega-church to ensure our whole family’s place in heaven

Think I’m really done using credit cards to buy stuff I really don’t need and for sure can’t afford

We’ll just keep our old SUV another couple of years even though the lease is a loser

Decided we can actually get by OK without going out to eat those 3 nights every week

Doing the things that mass-circulation magazines tell us smart money families need to do

Put a little recycling stuff out pretty much every week next to our large dumpster full of trash

Rebalancing our portfolio by buying stock since they keep saying it’s the best long-term investment

Carefully ingratiating myself to the bosses to try and avoid the next upcoming downsizing

Invested in some tools and gonna start that do-it-yourself thing real soon now

Bought a couple hi-tech light bulbs they say are greener and cheaper in the long run

Sitting down with the kids and their school work whenever I get home in time

Foiling my bad boy attitude with a rose a little bit now that my boss is a working mommie

Even spent some of my own lunch hour time last week reading a work-related article

Guess we wont be taking the family down to DisneyWorld at $500 per day this year

Turning up the intensity and duration of my prayers during this time of trouble

Got a fair amount of righteous indignation going over that whole meltdown bailout mess

Not forgetting that we simply must keep on investing even more in our National Defense

Even thinking of maybe a smaller house once this real estate panic settles down

Got my priorities on straight regarding the economy and this wacko environmental brouhaha

Unsubscribed most of the premium channels and cut off a few pay-per-view events

Let the finance company go ahead and take back the ATVs, jet skis and the snowmobiles

Looking real closely at this $200 a month cellphone bill and asking the tough questions

Yup, figure we pretty much got life under control by all the conventional media wisdom

Reusing, Refurbishing, Repurposing, Recycling

Not to be confused with Demean, Diminish, Disgrace, Dishonor

 Reusing grandfathers thrifty habits to set us back on their sane track again

Refurbishing our tarnished moral values to put them in play once more

Repurposing the wasted energy they used in their vanity thought control campaigns

Recycling their greedy, vain and shortsighted philosophies into the infinite void

If I don’t need it anymore I guess I won’t just toss it out

Maybe somebody else can use it

Perhaps a little tune-up means,

It will serve well for a few more years to come

I’m not using this stuff anymore

Wow, that would work just fine for this

At last a worn out piece of consumer history

Experiences rebirth once again

I got this extra part now since she gave me a new one

Do you need this other one, like I did before?

This part has broken several times

Can we maybe fix it better than it was ever made?

I’ll save these nuts and bolts from the old one,

For some other unknown project

Looks like this stuff is going back once again

To the big recycling factory in the sky

I’ll go and see if I can find one

Down to the bright and clean thrift emporium

All this old one really needs

Is a little tender loving care

I’m making a thoughtful war memorial

Out of this old high volume toilet

At last it’s time to recycle at least a bit of the wasted energy,

That was locked inside their failed neocon agenda

I’ll put a different attachment on the old one

And then we can use it on the road

All’s I did was put on a new cover, spray a little paint

And it looks as good as new

These worn out tee shirts will work real well

For messy projects out in the old garage

I’ll just rinse out this glass and metal for the green box,

Instead of tossing them in the trash without a thought